Last evening I sheared all of my mother’s hair 

As we watched the clumps fall to the floor, we cried a river of tears

We watched the stripping of her dignity fall with each strand that left her body

I embraced the naked body of the woman who birthed me and showed me all of the goodness in the world

We made tea, we snuggled, and I assured her she looked even more beautiful than before

In Ayurveda the action of shearing the hair has been a Vedic tradition from the beginning of time. Removal of the hair stimulates the central nervous system and renews bone marrow tissue, allowing the body to revive itself. Shearing the hair renews the body/mind and spirit. This also signifies lightening one’s burdens, eliminating attachment to the material world. Hair carries the experiences of our lives and its removal means much more than hair being removed. A naked head makes it easier to face the pure and unadorned spirit of self so that we come to terms with its truth and esteem it for what it truly is. I explained this to my mom as she listened to the wisdom, I can bestow upon her during her struggle with cancer.

I became her light as she rested on my breast

For many years I have educated practitioners about the POWER of the yoga mat; this morning I am a living example of such.  

I arrive

I practice

I release my own sorrows as I move through this meditation

My mat is my safe haven, my place of grounding, my time to reconnect with who I am

My mat knows me better than any human

As I wipe the salty tears off of my face, I gather the energy to begin again

Each breath, each movement is me; finding me

I am more than just my mother’s light; I share my authentic self with all whom practice with me

It is not easy, but it is my calling

I arrive

I breath 

I move

I let go

I move forward, if for no other reason but for her

Life is most definitely not fair; however it has been said that through struggle we find ourselves

I have struggled many times; I have shown resilience and I encourage all of you to do the same

Get on your mat, even during the darkest of times

Just arrive

And I will be there to catch you, that is my promise to you

Excerpt from The Surrender, N. Zornitzer, December 2019. 

Nicole Zornitzer, ERYT 1000, yoga therapist, founder of Niyama Yoga & Wellness Shala, located in Randolph, New Jersey, and Upper Lake Mohawk in Sparta, New Jersey. NiyamaYogaShala.com.